Recently I’ve been overwhelmed by signs from the universe, as I tune into my reality around me they scream at me.
Get this product. Eat here. Go here. Do this. Do that.
But none of these signs connect to an innate meaning. It’s like targeted advertising, it feels creepy and it feels forced.
I can follow these signs and do all of these things. But my innate self is still working through its existential crisis trying to find a moment in stormy waters.
This morning I walked around a park picking up the remnants of litter from what I assume was a good night out for a crowd of people.
I connected to a moment of anger. And last night I had another as I yelled at a driver to look before they turned at a junction.
In a web of signs, products, advertising, aspirations, dreams. I am disillusioned.
Disillusioned that collectively our planet is on a path to mass suicide. If I were to place a noose around my neck you’d probably stop to help. But with each bit of litter, each little bit of consumption, each slightly less ethical choice, each compromise I find myself part of this mass system of suicide.
And that hurts me. Relative to the rest of the world I am wealthy and privileged. I consume probably more than 80% of the worlds population individually does.
The complexity of the processes, money and thought that I go to, to mitigate this is quite extensive. But it is not enough. It is not good enough.
I think part of me has lost its desire to consume, and as a result a compass.
The impact of movements is indisputable. The trouble is we are mindless sometimes, and lazy, myself included.
And I just don’t know what to do. Scream at the top of my lungs, or accept and eternally jump onto a plane forever.
There are so many solutions, we just need a shepherd to heard us all.