If you are to love, be like the moon. Do not steal the night. It unveils the beauty of the night.

Isra Al-Thibeh

I’ve recently been having a difficulty. Deciding things. Deciding what to do. The second guess. The questioning of the original decision. The anxiety of following through; and realising that the path isn’t easy.

Does stillness always invite doubt? Does anxiety override a sense of intuition? Is life like a series of dark tunnels that I only need to live through.

I use an astrology app (Nebula, Costar and Aurla) to guide me. I don’t know why. But what I like about it is; the opportunity to reflect on how a random question might be relevant to me.

Do I believe that the stars, moons and planets control my life. No. Do I believe all the relationship advice, certainly not. Do I believe in a fixed destiny set my an omniscient force? No.

I don’t believe fortune tellers are magically gifted. But I am willing to partially trust their judgement. They’re profession is judging and advising based on intuition. As someone you’ve never met.

I won’t be and am not Patrizia Reggiani who was advised by her TV mystic to murder her husband (see: House of Gucci)

Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

Mysticism

Recently I’ve been dealt a set of tarot cards that read something like, I am my own power, that I am gifted with my own sense of determination and I can break free of anxieties by moving through them.

I read these cards as self, future and challenge.

Why do I do this? Because it actually gives me a second to think about something. Sometimes it throws up something that I have a vague awareness of but no acceptance of. Something I see but don’t. It’s like going to a counsellor. Through random chance I may have the opportunity to reflect.

And in this reading; I have the power to determine my own path a future. And that this process will release anxiety, fear and negative energy. All together this means a change of wind direction.

That the future is challenged by today’s anxieties, fears and negative energies. That the self has to release these. This isn’t a confrontational process, this is a process of reconnecting to the inner voice. Which is a matter of; travelling the journey.

Moonlight

Which brings me back to the beginning. When the moon is large and bright in the sky it illuminates the night. It makes the trees shadows; and everything ever so slightly silver.

It brings out a completely different side in people. It can bring hustle. It can bring werwolves. It can bring people dancing and puking on the streets. Little taxi cabs on bikes with loud music. It can reflect on the water across the vast lake; that we can’t take our eyes off. At a full moon we all let loose.

Moonlight is danger. It is beauty. It is mystical. It twinkles. It provides just enough light, but not enough. You cannot capture it quite. You cannot not ignore it. It is a reflection of the sun’s light. It is silent, and present. It reminds us that we are part of a galactic vastness that we can never comprehend.

Into the Dark

I prefer the night to the heat of the day. But walking through it is a journey of the unknown, sometimes of fear. Sometimes I avoid certain routes.

The point is right now, walking in the moonlight I cannot quite see. And that terrifies me. I’m walking down a path unknown, in the dark woods and I cannot make sense of my surroundings.

I’m confused, doubtful, second guessing, worried my trousers are gonna get ripped on a branch or I may get attacked by a pack of wolves.

This is darkness and moonlight.

Seeing the woods from the trees. Photo by Francesco Ungaro on Pexels.com

Look up

“Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don’t just give up.”

Steven Hawkings

At this point I look at my iPad cover. This is a starry nights sky with nebula, gas clouds, glorious colours.

I remember my wish: to live in a Star Trek world, where our limits to what we could explore are not this planet, but the true unknown vastness of our solar system, our Milky Way, our universe.

Because truly the options are limitless. Our only limits are our health and the time we have on the planet.

Back to planet earth, the night, the woods. I don’t have to look down at my feet. I don’t have to terrifyingly stare at the trees. I can look-up and at least just marvel at the vastness of everything.

Because if a man in a wheelchair can become a world renowned theoretical physicist who is telling other people not to give up. I need to listen.