It starts with the sun shining in the bedroom window, lighting up the sky in this soft blue and orange. The misty haze rising from the city below.

The opening of the eyes, the sound of music and the slow roll out of bed. A shout out to the universe; “hey, make today awesome”. Measuring the coffee and smelling its aroma fill the room, the muddy delight frothed and steaming in sight.

A quick meeting, some pearls of wisdom. A run around the block, the cold air against my face. A pull on weights feeling my body strain and pull against all directions.

The steamy hot shower, the removal of every last bit of grease from my face. The feeling of the soap lathering my skin, my body, my face. The water drops fall down my body, as I rinse.

I turn to shave, the sound of the razor cutting against the few bits of bristle I have on my face. I feel the tension against each hair,and hear each cut, each refinement.

I wrap the towel around me and the mirrors desteam. My body dries and I contort my face. Every pore seems so much tighter now. I sip the coffee. I read the news. I listen to some more wisdom and I watch the rest of the sunrise.

And I rise.

My morning rituals of late have gone out of the window. And my mood has changed and you can see why. Sadly this is a relapse back into depression; and everyone around me is screaming; it’s in my head.

But every ritual has become a chore. Each breath a sobering reminder that I’m about to enter another coughing fit; I can hardly be expected to find my zen. Instead I yearn for when this all lifts. When I can return to my rituals and rise at dawn.

Bring it back! Starting the day out of sync is like watching my house of cards fall. No matter what I try, if I rise, I rise. If I fail on the rise, it’s hard to get back up.