Love, love, love, There’s nothing you can do that can’t be doneThe Beatles
I started the day with vulnerability and with a phone call to mum to borrow some money for a tyre and inner tube. My niece Abby was staying with her dad this weekend.
I spoke on the speakerphone and Abby shared she was saving £5/month up until Christmas to buy everyone’s Christmas presents.
We spoke about the trip that Aunt Laura and I were planning to Harry Potter world and Walt Disney World for my nieces, and that we’d also be saving at least £5 per week, for maybe a couple of years. I could hear Abbys mouth drop.
We also had a quick discussion over “into the unknown” from Frozen 2 about the merits of attending Frozen the musical with her cousins. “They weren’t very friendly” she said “it must be because I’m six months older”. Oh to measure age difference in months! Children have such an innocence about framing things.
Mum then asked for advice on a family member who was having issues with alcohol. I sent over a load of zoom meetings, my ex therapists information and loads of stuff on rehab. Whatever you do open them up to a whole world of recovery on zoom and not just some local meeting in the middle of nowhere!
Do I need sex: No
I went to a meeting where the topic was love. Do I need sex: no. Do I need love: yes. Can I choose the love I want to accept: yes. Can I love others without loving myself first: no.
Love is complex, because there’s all different types; brotherly, friendship, romantic, intimate, family, sexual. But it is also unconditional. I’m not sure my using friends nor I offered a lot of unconditional love in active addiction, it literally needed substance.
I spent the afternoon out on my bike, managed to catch the sight of the sunset and the few rainbows 🌈
I often joke that when it’s raining and I’m in my green lol outfit I’m the leprechaun under the rainbow! Someone once said “it’s not about waiting for the storm to end but learning to dance in the rain”
I made a few plans for fellowship today before heading off to enjoy my bike some more and get some more deliveries in.
Recovery is everywhere
I went to sleep thinking about the big book. And all the different types of meetings. Some people really don’t like online meetings, but attending meetings like Saturday night fever, 7am daily and the big book study florida, really opens up a global perspective to recovery; and from the atheists to the fundamentalists there’s a whole load of perspective, suggestions and advice out there.
I am grateful for a loving family; who will always provide the love I need. Be they my family, friends or fellows. I never need to use to find “love” again.