Image courtesy of Dental Peeps

Wednesdays are known as hump days when we throw away Monday and Tuesdays and begin to get ready for the weekend. I’ve been fortunate enough to have all the time in the world to devote to my recovery. Today is day 108 of sobriety.

Since the start of my recovery I’ve been signed-off, quit my job, signed on to Universal Credit, deferred debt payments, sought help from the loc council, sought therapy and help from my GP and worked furiously as a Deliveroo rider to make up for my financial short comings and borrowed money from my family.

Help always appears when we hope for it, ask for it and keep trying

Firstly, I am so grateful for these things, being awarded discretionary payment by the local council, a COVID-19 hardship fund, a loving family who has supported me throughout and a grant for when I was unable to work due to self-isolation. And of course I am grateful for all the Deliveroo and Uber Eats customers throughout south London who have got me this far.

Sometimes things happen quickly, sometimes they happen slowly

12 Steps Literature

To my surprise, over the past few days I’ve been negotiating salary with my recruiter. And not only was my ask exceeded but I also got the job. I’m already planning in my head which causes to support, the few material things I’d like to buy, the debts I need to repay and the people from active addiction I owe something to.

Stop worrying about spending. Start to invest in people, outcomes, you.

I always believe in Karma, and throughout my recovery I’ve given what I can, changed to buying from charity shops and always put food into the food bank when visiting the local shop. I cannot expect anything but I can indirectly help someone else everyday.

Bearing in mind that since stopping smoking, drinking, drugging, paying for the apps and getting Uber’s everywhere I estimate I’ve saved £2,268 and that’s conservative.

Money Saving Expert, helping me restructure debts and become a savvy budget person.

I also handed over my financial matters. I was worried when asking for money that I’d wouldn’t get anything, that I was handing over my pride. I worried everytime I wasn’t getting orders to deliver. I was worried that I shouldn’t be eligible for these things and the at my disease meant that I wasn’t worthy of this stuff.

The thing is, it’s not my decision what I am eligible for and what I am not. It is not my decision what job I will get. It’s not my decision which grants I will get or what or when customers will order.

Hand it over. Seek help. Stop worrying about money.

Everytime I turned on my rider app or applied for benefits or a job I handed the decision to my HP. And they delivered. They exceeded my expectations. Sometimes it happened quickly, sometimes it happened slowly. I didn’t get always what I wanted but what I needed and just when I needed it. I missed a bill but didn’t get charged due to an error in the system; a HP moment.

Every customer and penny is a blessing. Becoming a Deliveroo rider. Image courtesy Deliveroo.

I didn’t know I would be able to live 108 days without a main income on benefits which don’t really marry up to living costs.

I know that as we run up to Christmas there will be manny opportunities to give back and give all the gratitude back to everyone who has supported me so far.

Financial security has always been one of my biggest worries. It has led me to suicidal ideation before. The thing is no one was trying to kill me for owing money. That was me.

Money doesn’t make life happy, but it does make it easier.

Sober and the City, 2021

Money won’t make me happy. But it does make life easier and opens up all sorts of doors. I am also looking forward to giving back and returning from shrew to generous.

I handed over my financial matters, and sometimes slowly and sometimes quickly things happened. I was always given my needs and for this I am grateful.

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