I’ve still got sand in my shoes, and I can’t shake the thought of you.

Dido, Sand in my Shoes

Yesterday I asked my dad to drop me off on the beach after a family event. I discussed my guilt at Nan’s situation and how sad it was to see her struggle to do the things she wanted and used to do.

I have done nothing in my using career to show her my love and I thought of only my own selfishness.

I got to Sandbanks near Poole where I had never been. I cycled past the harbour the beautiful haze refracting the sunlight everywhere giving the whole place a mystical feel. As I continued cycling I took a deep breath and felt the salty, sticky, mugginess of the air. The sea always has a wonderful smell and feeling in the air, having been born by the seaside.

I relished this smell, taste on one of the only warm days this year.

You Only Live Once, run toward life

I arrived at the beach and gazed at the people, the sky coming to sunset. And I had an urge to YOLO to strip down to my speedos and run into the freezing cold sea.

The Beach at Sandbanks – Poole

But I thought to keep things simple. It has been so long since I had felt the sand on my feet. This is not Croatia, but it is it’s own Britishness. I took my shoes off and rolled my feet in the sand, each grain rubbing against my feet. Cool and damp. The sand passed through my toes as I lifted my feet. I rubbed them so more.

It had been so long since I felt that feeling. I wanted to cry. I wanted to let out my grief following the note I sent to A and Sponsor yesterday.

I watched the others on the beach and ogled some rather dandy topless men on the beach. I made resolve I am powerless but I also have my life and I can run into the sea.

With haste I got down to my speedos and rain straight into the sea screaming with the cold chill of the English Channel (La Manche) and submersed my full body, after much hesitation,and let out a cry. I did my own version of Just for Today in the sea. Finally I was going to be cool today!

Always admire the beauty of others

It was chilling but still I swam and I realised it was going to take a lot of training before I can do my first triathlon for charity.

I left the beach covered in sand and ogled the beautiful men even more! How naughty. I could not divert my eyes from those lovely hairy chests or bulging muscles.

The Sunset – Sandbanks – Poole

Life gives us all kinds of treats, savour the moment

I went to the shop and bought a few treats and found a spot to watch the sunset over the harbour. The purple pink orange blue shone over the harbour and reflected in the water as I watched it for two hours. I danced on the harbour beach to phone music. Even when it’s raining, joy can still be found with dance. God knows what the locals thought.

To my family I dedicated the beautiful sunset to my Nan and sent them a video clip to share. She may have limited mobility but she can still experience the world through our eyes.

I went home with a load of sand in my speedos and I’m in my shoes. I might keep a little there to remind me of this moment.

The remnants of the actual sand in my shoes and clothes.

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